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Microstan Defender Released
     Introducing the all new Microstan Defender. Designed for ease of use, minimal jamming and keeping all of the infidel malware threats at bay is the new Microstan Defender Kalashnikov. Like all other Microstan products, the Defender is loosely based on an older design from 1946, this will allow you to Defend against unlicensed copying of your software. Spokesman and product manager for Microstan Defender, Abu Masab al-Zarqawi stated in a press release about the program that it will keep the “Red scum” speaking of the Red Hat Communist Republic of Russia “out of our lands.” The head of Zarqawi is being artificially preserved by Microstan for the use of sound bytes.
     The Microstan Defender, unlike it’s predecessor the AK-47 does not have a lightweight code base though. It is built using the previously extinct FoxPro used as a cold war rapid application development explosive. The Defender is likely to be a hit, being marketed to 40,000,000 as replacements for their now outdated AK-47s. Zarqawi went on to note that “the deep market penetration of the previous model has led us to believe that this will be a successful endeavor. We have conservative sales estimates of 10 million Defenders per quarter, giving us a deployment of 40,000,000 at the end of year one. This should provide us with a return on investment of 1,000% for the research and development of the Defender.”
     Wall Street agreed with stock prices for Microstan surging 28 points at the close of trading today. Investors stated that the market potential for Defender is limitless. One investor remarked he had 15 on preorder citing a need to rid himself of gophers.

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Last Modified: Monday, 20-Nov-2006 04:34:22 MST
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